IVF: InVincible Focus

I mean, i don’t get off on injecting myself, but at least each evening i can feel like i am pushing on through another day, another moment closer through this torturous journey – perhaps on my way to our miracle.  I am certainly not a fan of my latest addition to my evening stomach spearing… Continue reading IVF: InVincible Focus

The future is bright

I was wearing simple loose “boyfriend” jeans, rolled up at the ends, some kind of flat trainers and a plain navy blue jumper.  Our kitchen had old wooden flooring and my laptop was perched on the same kitchen table we have now, where I was working on something related to maternity Mindfulness for “Baby I Am… Continue reading The future is bright

No to pregnancy, Yes to IVF

With my thyroid levels now in the right zone and with the security of IVF finally scheduled for the next cycle after a 6 month delay (given the emergency surgery and third pregnancy loss, healing time, admin, an unknown number of blood tests and then a Hashimotos diagnosis), I really did hope I could be… Continue reading No to pregnancy, Yes to IVF

Gaining through the loss

Maybe the best way to actually consolidate this is to bullet point it.  The message is clear.  The loss which lies at the core of my broken heart and soul, the loss that fills every day with emptiness, the loss that makes me feel inadequate, the loss that makes me lost, the loss that forever… Continue reading Gaining through the loss

Diary Entry of a Defunct Sat Nav

Have you ever thought how similar your journey might be do a totally dud, broken, outdated SatNav?  It’s as though this journey represents the defunct Google Maps waiting for the software update – totally useless in the meantime, performing a U turn, taking wrong directions, hitting dead ends…wrong place, wrong time, wrong gadget hidden in… Continue reading Diary Entry of a Defunct Sat Nav

Stream of bloody consciousness

I could probably set my blog posts up to be on rotation, because these emotions are cyclical and predictable based on yet another failed attempt to conceive naturally this cycle. The last few weeks have been immensely frustrating.  I’ve spent time working towards psychologically preparing myself for IVF but this is now going to take… Continue reading Stream of bloody consciousness

The power of “I am…”

I am vulnerable, I am hurt, I am struggling, I am looking for answers, I am done with pain, but, I am great.  A wise lady recently taught me the power of “I Am”, in light of her own battles, and it fits perfectly with my own intentions.

I am blogging to share my journey from profound pain to greatness, and to use my experiences as a platform to become the best person I can be.  Life has thrown me around and knocked me down with grief, loss and fertility issues, and in doing so it has thrown me onto a new path and forced me to look deep within.

I will not be defined by my pain, but I am using it in the most positive way I can: I am working on my own deep connection, to understand myself, to understand circumstance, to re-connect with the universe and to become a better person every day.

No matter what, I am great.  We can all keep this affirmation close to our hearts.

Welcome to my journey.