Dear friends, I probably owe you an explanation. I know I’ve been absent these last few years, and I don’t intend on always being in hiding, so I hope that door is still going to be open in the future. Some of you have tried to reach out, to offer to meet, have a coffee,… Continue reading Failing in friendships: fertility vs friends
Maybe the best way to actually consolidate this is to bullet point it. The message is clear. The loss which lies at the core of my broken heart and soul, the loss that fills every day with emptiness, the loss that makes me feel inadequate, the loss that makes me lost, the loss that forever… Continue reading Gaining through the loss
Have you ever thought how similar your journey might be do a totally dud, broken, outdated SatNav? It’s as though this journey represents the defunct Google Maps waiting for the software update – totally useless in the meantime, performing a U turn, taking wrong directions, hitting dead ends…wrong place, wrong time, wrong gadget hidden in… Continue reading Diary Entry of a Defunct Sat Nav
I could probably set my blog posts up to be on rotation, because these emotions are cyclical and predictable based on yet another failed attempt to conceive naturally this cycle. The last few weeks have been immensely frustrating. I’ve spent time working towards psychologically preparing myself for IVF but this is now going to take… Continue reading Stream of bloody consciousness
Honestly, it baffles me. The days when my place of work served as a needed escape from my own baby related issues are long gone. Of course the topic is always going to surface in some way, but seriously, I am astounded. You are an intelligent group of people – you represent elite universities including… Continue reading What part of insensitive can you not understand?
Dear therapist, You got me thinking. I wasn’t sure how our session went yesterday, but my head was spinning so much about the different direction it went it, i didn’t realise the value until i had left. For the first time since i started with you, we didn’t focus on the losses and the difficulties… Continue reading The strength of a superwoman… (IVF Therapy)
I recall my in-laws joking with us for being in a committed relationship whilst we were in our early 20’s and at uni – and suddenly, here we are, looking at his younger siblings, now married and raising their young children. The loss isn’t just a physical and emotional loss of our own babies and what… Continue reading Infertility and Inclusion