No to pregnancy, Yes to IVF

With my thyroid levels now in the right zone and with the security of IVF finally scheduled for the next cycle after a 6 month delay (given the emergency surgery and third pregnancy loss, healing time, admin, an unknown number of blood tests and then a Hashimotos diagnosis), I really did hope I could be… Continue reading No to pregnancy, Yes to IVF

Diary Entry of a Defunct Sat Nav

Have you ever thought how similar your journey might be do a totally dud, broken, outdated SatNav?  It’s as though this journey represents the defunct Google Maps waiting for the software update – totally useless in the meantime, performing a U turn, taking wrong directions, hitting dead ends…wrong place, wrong time, wrong gadget hidden in… Continue reading Diary Entry of a Defunct Sat Nav

Stream of bloody consciousness

I could probably set my blog posts up to be on rotation, because these emotions are cyclical and predictable based on yet another failed attempt to conceive naturally this cycle. The last few weeks have been immensely frustrating.  I’ve spent time working towards psychologically preparing myself for IVF but this is now going to take… Continue reading Stream of bloody consciousness

Round and Round we go

I’ve become someone I loathe.  I’ve become my own situation.  I’ve let this journey of grief overcome me.  I feel done.  Heartbroken.  Tired.  Bored.  Sad.  Longing for my naivety, remembering how it felt to have hopes of a summer baby as soon as we started this journey.  Recalling those first joyful tears I cried in… Continue reading Round and Round we go

Making friends with my womb

It’s a bizarre thought really, but, two things have recently highlighted my somewhat fractured relationship with my womb.  It isn’t something i would have otherwise given much thought to – but, in view of the 3 surgeries, the disturbing amount of blood i lost afterwards, the scar wounds from my ectopic and the slow pace… Continue reading Making friends with my womb