IVF: InVincible Focus

I mean, i don’t get off on injecting myself, but at least each evening i can feel like i am pushing on through another day, another moment closer through this torturous journey – perhaps on my way to our miracle.  I am certainly not a fan of my latest addition to my evening stomach spearing… Continue reading IVF: InVincible Focus

Failing in friendships: fertility vs friends

Dear friends, I probably owe you an explanation. I know I’ve been absent these last few years, and I don’t intend on always being in hiding, so I hope that door is still going to be open in the future. Some of you have tried to reach out, to offer to meet, have a coffee,… Continue reading Failing in friendships: fertility vs friends

Diary Entry of a Defunct Sat Nav

Have you ever thought how similar your journey might be do a totally dud, broken, outdated SatNav?  It’s as though this journey represents the defunct Google Maps waiting for the software update – totally useless in the meantime, performing a U turn, taking wrong directions, hitting dead ends…wrong place, wrong time, wrong gadget hidden in… Continue reading Diary Entry of a Defunct Sat Nav

Stream of bloody consciousness

I could probably set my blog posts up to be on rotation, because these emotions are cyclical and predictable based on yet another failed attempt to conceive naturally this cycle. The last few weeks have been immensely frustrating.  I’ve spent time working towards psychologically preparing myself for IVF but this is now going to take… Continue reading Stream of bloody consciousness

What part of insensitive can you not understand?

Honestly, it baffles me.  The days when my place of work served as a needed escape from my own baby related issues are long gone.  Of course the topic is always going to surface in some way, but seriously, I am astounded.  You are an intelligent group of people – you represent elite universities including… Continue reading What part of insensitive can you not understand?

Round and Round we go

I’ve become someone I loathe.  I’ve become my own situation.  I’ve let this journey of grief overcome me.  I feel done.  Heartbroken.  Tired.  Bored.  Sad.  Longing for my naivety, remembering how it felt to have hopes of a summer baby as soon as we started this journey.  Recalling those first joyful tears I cried in… Continue reading Round and Round we go

Infertility and Inclusion

I recall my in-laws joking with us for being in a committed relationship whilst we were in our early 20’s and at uni – and suddenly, here we are, looking at his younger siblings, now married and raising their young children. The loss isn’t just a physical and emotional loss of our own babies and what… Continue reading Infertility and Inclusion